How untreated depression affected my performance…
• Constantly feeling tired – no matter how many hours I would sleep
• Isolated myself in the dressing room – I felt irritated by people around me and just wanted to be alone
• Lost my love for the game – I began to see football as a burden
• Slower reactions on the pitch – I felt sluggish & heavy
• Low self-esteem – I lost all belief in myself
All of the above led to my performance taking a huge dip, I was in free fall.
So what changed?
I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I put one foot in front of the other and slowly reached out for help. This didn’t happen overnight. I was very reluctant to accept that this was an illness, I still believed it was something that I could control. I was even more reluctant to take any form of medication.
After years of running into a brick wall and falling flat on my face, I finally started to accept that this was indeed an illness that I couldn’t conquer alone.
My ongoing treatment consists of:
• Sertraline
• 1-2-1 Therapy
• Working through the 12-step program for addiction (closely linked with my depression)
• Speaking to like-minded individuals
• Breathing exercises to help me fall asleep
• Being honest & owning my sh*t
• Long walks in nature
• Daily gratitude lists
In my experience, depression doesn’t just leave. It’s something that I have learned to live with and manage better on a daily basis.
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