You’re seeing it more and more. Players who “won’t listen.” Kids who “act out.” Behaviour that disrupts sessions. Coaches are frustrated. Parents/carers/guardians are defensive. Everyone’s stuck.
Here’s what’s actually happening.
More emotional dysregulation. More meltdowns. More players who seem unable to follow simple instructions. It’s not your imagination. And it’s not because “kids these days” are worse.
It’s because 15-20% of children are neurodivergent (minimum). This isn’t a fringe topic anymore – it’s mainstream in grassroots football and not enough of us are aware of it.
ADHD. Autism. Dyslexia. Dyspraxia. Anxiety disorders. Sensory processing differences. That’s 3-4 players per team. Maybe more. And most of them don’t have formal diagnoses. Many never will as waiting lists are now taking years. But their needs don’t disappear because there’s no paperwork.
Here’s the disconnect: what coaches see as “behaviour” is often something else entirely.
Sensory overload looks like “acting out”
The kid who suddenly kicks the ball away and storms off? Maybe the noise, the lights, the shouting became unbearable. They’re not being difficult. They’re overwhelmed.
Executive function challenges look like “not following instructions”
The player who consistently forgets the drill sequence? That’s not defiance. They’re struggling to hold multiple steps in working memory.
Processing differences look like “not trying”
The kid who stares blankly when you give instructions? They’re not ignoring you. They need more time to process verbal information.
Impulsivity looks like “poor discipline”
The player who interrupts constantly and can’t wait their turn? That’s not rudeness. That’s ADHD. The brake system in their brain works differently.
Demand avoidance looks like “attitude”
The child who refuses point-blank to do a drill? It might be pathological demand avoidance (PDA). The anxiety of perceived pressure triggers a fight-or-flight response.
Stop asking: “Why won’t this player behave?”
Start asking: “What need isn’t being met?”
Because once you reframe behaviour as communication, everything shifts. The kid who’s “disruptive” is telling you something. They just don’t have the words – or the self-awareness – to explain what.
Your job isn’t to punish the behaviour. It’s to decode the need and respond appropriately.
Small changes. Massive impact.
Visual demonstrations alongside verbal instructions – solves the processing difference problem.
Movement breaks built into sessions – solves the ADHD impulsivity problem.
Predictable structure with advance warning of changes – solves the autistic anxiety problem.
Quiet zones for sensory breaks – solves the overwhelm problem.
Simplified language and shorter instruction sets – solves the working memory problem.
None of this is complicated. None of it requires expensive equipment or specialist training.
It just requires awareness that different brains work differently.
And willingness to adapt your coaching to the players you actually have, not the players you wish you had.
Here’s the uncomfortable bit. If you’re treating neurodivergent needs as “bad behaviour,” you might be discriminating.
The Equality Act says clubs must make reasonable adjustments for disabled players. Neurodivergence can qualify as disability.
That means:
You don’t get to decide if a player qualifies as disabled. The law does that. Your job is to make reasonable adjustments. Document them. Show you’ve tried.
Most coaches are dealing with this alone. They’ve done their FA Level 1 or Level 2. Maybe a safeguarding module. Then they’re out on the pitch every week, wondering why nothing they learned in the course translates to the kids in front of them.
They ask for help in Facebook groups and get torn apart by people who think neurodiversity is “making excuses” or “snowflake culture.”
They try strategies that work for one player and don’t work for another, with no understanding of why. They burn out. They quit. The club loses good volunteers.
And the players? They drop out. They internalise the message that football “isn’t for them.”
Not another tick-box, solitary, watching Netflix while completing, e-learning module that’s designed for them not to fail.
And crucially: a safe space to ask questions without getting Dave’d.
Talk to your County FA. Ask what face-to-face training they offer that goes beyond basic awareness – training that gives you practical, pitch-ready strategies.
Ask if they provide ongoing support, not just one-off workshops.
Ask if they offer peer networks where coaches can share challenges and learn from each other.
If they don’t have good answers, you’re being left to figure this out alone.
And that’s not fair on you, your club and community. Or your players.
We’ve solved this problem and more with the FMHA Neurodiversity, Mental Health & Safeguarding Academy.
The FMHA Neurodiversity, Mental Health & Safeguarding Academy gives your entire club unlimited access to:
Not a one-off workshop. Not a Facebook group. An ongoing support system built specifically for grassroots football.
The resources and support provided in The Vault are designed to promote mental wellbeing and provide general guidance on mental health related to grassroots football.
However, the content is not intended to serve as specific mental health advice or replace consultation with a trained professional. If you or someone you know requires personalised mental health support, we strongly encourage you to consult with a licensed mental health professional and/or seek appropriate services in your area.
