How untreated depression affected my performance…
• Constantly feeling tired – no matter how many hours I would sleep
• Isolated myself in the dressing room – I felt irritated by people around me and just wanted to be alone
• Lost my love for the game – I began to see football as a burden
• Slower reactions on the pitch – I felt sluggish & heavy
• Low self-esteem – I lost all belief in myself
All of the above led to my performance taking a huge dip, I was in free fall.
So what changed?
I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I put one foot in front of the other and slowly reached out for help. This didn’t happen overnight. I was very reluctant to accept that this was an illness, I still believed it was something that I could control. I was even more reluctant to take any form of medication.
After years of running into a brick wall and falling flat on my face, I finally started to accept that this was indeed an illness that I couldn’t conquer alone.
My ongoing treatment consists of:
• Sertraline
• 1-2-1 Therapy
• Working through the 12-step program for addiction (closely linked with my depression)
• Speaking to like-minded individuals
• Breathing exercises to help me fall asleep
• Being honest & owning my sh*t
• Long walks in nature
• Daily gratitude lists
In my experience, depression doesn’t just leave. It’s something that I have learned to live with and manage better on a daily basis.
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The resources and support provided in The Vault are designed to promote mental wellbeing and provide general guidance on mental health related to grassroots football.
However, the content is not intended to serve as specific mental health advice or replace consultation with a trained professional. If you or someone you know requires personalised mental health support, we strongly encourage you to consult with a licensed mental health professional and/or seek appropriate services in your area.
