Do you want nothing more than to see your child play as well on the pitch as you see them play in training or the garden?
Does there seem to be a gap between what you know they’re capable of and the performance they produce when it matters? How heartbreaking is it for them and you when the power of pressure puts limits on your child’s performance and enjoyment? Contrast that with how excited they are when they play to their potential! This can be the reality more often by using the steps in this article.
I’m here to tell you and your child that pressure doesn’t have to define them.
It’s normal to be put down by pressure. I must have practised thousands of turns as a swimmer in my teens. Yet, when the pressure was on and the race was underway, I’d come up short of the wall or push off too close to the surface, killing my race time. However, I never made the link to pressure. I just sat frustrated in my belief that I wasn’t good enough.
Since these experiences, I’ve been able to learn how pressure impacts performance and how anyone can develop the ability to embrace pressure, instead of being ruled by it.
I’ve learnt that performing under pressure doesn’t require any superhuman talent. It’s just an ability to produce an ordinary performance when it matters.
Through my experience and working with athletes on this common barrier to potential, I can now give you the 6 steps to help your child embrace pressure and perform to their potential when it matters!
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: The great thing about managing pressure is that your child doesn’t even have to reduce it. In fact, trying to reduce pressure would be trying to control their feelings, which is very tiring and distracting. Instead, all they have to do is allow pressure to be there, make some room for it, and turn their attention to playing their game. So, here’s how to do that…
1) Notice Pressure
If your child wants to embrace pressure then they need to be able to notice it. Pressure crops up when your child cares strongly about the outcome of a game or event. They might feel anxious, energised, worried, have butterflies in their stomach, have a faster heart rate than usual, or have sweaty palms. All of these signs can help your child notice they are feeling pressure.
2) Locate Pressure
Your child likely feels pressure most strongly somewhere in their body. Maybe it’s their head. Perhaps their chest. Maybe it’s making their legs feel like jelly. It doesn’t matter as long as they can locate it.
3) Give Pressure Some Features
What colour is pressure? Is it hot or cold? Does it give off a particular sensation? Does it feel like a solid, a gas or a liquid? Does it hold a shape? Give pressure some characteristics.
4) Breathe into Pressure
With their hand on their stomach, see if your child can imagine breathing into the feeling of pressure, pushing their hand out as they breathe in. Take deep breaths in, hold for 2-4 seconds, then a slow breath out. Hold again, and repeat.
5) Create Space Around Pressure
See if your child can use their breath to create space around the pressure. Now they’re giving it some room inside them, and really embracing the pressure being there.
(Repeat these 5 steps until your child feels like they have made room for pressure. If they say they’re feeling pressure less, that’s a bonus!)
6) Focus on their Game
Now they’ve made room for pressure, your child can do what matters! Even though the pressure is still there, they can focus on their coaches and the game. Now, they can play the way they know they’re capable of.
Now, you might be thinking that that’s a lot of steps to remember. And, you’d be right. Just like technical skills, your child needs to train their mental skills to get good at them. To help with that, here’s an audio recording of the exercise above to get them used to the steps to embracing pressure.
Now, with this invaluable tool, your child can embrace pressure with courage, and you have the knowledge to support them. I hope this helps them to narrow the gap between potential and performance under pressure, but most of all, that it leads to your child enjoying sport as often as possible.
Ross Preston (SEPiT) is the Founder of Challenger Mindset, a Sport Psychology and Mindset Training consultancy. Challenger Mindset aims to help athletes and performers grow into more authentic individuals who perform to their potential when it matters most. Click here for more information.
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