My name is Steven, and I am a compulsive gambler

Guest post by The Vault Ambassador, Steven Caulker.

The first time I said these words I was 19, doing my first stint in rehab. I never really knew what they meant, and I certainly didn’t know just how bad things were going to get.

What does it mean?

“People with compulsive gambling have a hard time resisting or controlling the impulse to gamble. The brain is reacting to this impulse in the same manner it reacts to a person addicted to alcohol or drugs.”

I’ve spent 12 years battling this addiction through various support programs. It’s the loneliest battle I have ever faced.

When people reach out to me desperately looking for help, they often assume that if I’m now clean, I must have the answer. Unfortunately, I don’t.

I just know that every single day my brain is looking for a way to convince me that it’s a good idea to gamble and that I will somehow recoup all of my losses. It’s a lie, that sometimes I fall into the trap of believing.

This is a hard post for me to write, but I know for a fact there is a gambler out there who needs to read this. Maybe a family member too, as I’m aware it can be even worse for them!

Below are a few things that help me:

• Helping others – gives me something to focus on and helps improve my self-worth
• Talking to like-minded individuals with lived experience – I always find comfort in knowing that I’m not alone
• GA meetings – admittedly I don’t do enough of these
• Therapy – finding the right person for me was key
• Limit access to funds – this doesn’t necessarily stop me, but it certainly makes it harder.
• Self-exclusion – again, this doesn’t necessarily stop me as there is always a new betting company that opens up and is willing to take my bet, but it makes it a lot harder. Preventing easy access gives me more time to think about what I’m doing.
• Exercise – a far healthier way to blow off steam.

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If you have been, or are being affected by gambling, The Hub of Hope has a comprehensive list of organisations that can help as can Gamblers Anonymous.

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